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2009年7月份,我给一个老朋友(Simon FT-MBA,2010春季班)为申请MBA而写的Essay提了几点比较关键的修改建议。后来,她成功拿到Simon的Offer。再后来,她建议我做留学DIY咨询方面的工作,并向我介绍了我的第一个客户。最终,我的第一个客户也成功拿到几个TOP16商学院的面试并顺利拿到Duke Fuqua商学院MBA的录取。 本人毕业于上海复旦大学管理学院国际企业管理系,属于商科科班出身并且做过管理工作、有领导经验的人士。

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Chicago Booth Resume Guide--Focus Your Bullets on The Specific Actions You Took  

2017-01-08 05:47:09|  分类: PS/Essay/简历/推 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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Chicago Booth Resume Guide--Focus Your Bullets on The Specific Actions You Took

 

 

Focus Your Bullets on The Specific Actions You Took

 

 

 

Example 5

This student was a project manager for an engineering firm. He had the following bullet on his resume concerning a project he managed.

 

? Assisted in the preparation of monthly financial forecasts for Brazilian telecommunications project.

 

The student included this bullet because it was one of the few instances where he did any kind of financial analysis. At the same time he recognized that the bullet lacked impact. He began to rework it by asking the question, “What specific actions did I take?” His role was to analyze projected expenditures for aspects of the engineering process and to identify potential problems. As he thought about it, he realized that on several instances he had identified specific problems and solved them. He rewrote the bullet to tell what he actually did. In so doing, he was able to keep the fact that he had some exposure to financial data, but offered a stronger presentation by highlighting what action he took.

 

? Analyzed finances for engineering operations and recommended purchasing and processing improvements that reduced operational costs by 15%.

 

 

 

Example 6

This student worked in a financial consulting firm.

 

? Worked closely with leadership team including CEO and CFO to design various internal and external management reports.

 

 “Worked” is vague; it could mean almost anything. As a result, it doesn’t carry particularly active or strong connotations. Another way to write this is to change the verb to more clearly describe how the student worked with the leadership team.

 

? Collaborated with leadership team including CEO and CFO to design various internal and external management reports.

 

This option can work if the student in question truly “collaborated” with the leadership team. As an analyst, however, he was not on par with senior management and he felt “collaborated” didn’t adequately describe what happened. As a result, he surveyed the specific actions he took and reoriented bullet around one of those actions.

 

? Designed various internal and external management reports that met the specifications of the CEO and CFO.

 

 

 

Example 7

This student worked as a financial analyst prior to arriving at Chicago Booth.

 

? Provided direct financial support to a division with annual expense base of over $100 million by analyzing and interpreting financial data for planning and control purposes.

 

“Provided” is vague. Further, “providing support” doesn’t send a compelling message. The more interesting part of the bullet concerns the analysis and interpretation. This student sent a stronger message through a very simple change - he reversed the order of the two halves of the bullet. Note the use of a much stronger and more specific lead verb.

 

? Analyzed and interpreted financial data for planning and control purposes for a division with an annual expense base of over $100 million.


 

 

 

 

Example 8

While working as a research assistant in a lab, this student was responsible for the daily operations of experimental research.

 

? Coordinated several projects at once, met daily deadlines, planned various methods and controls, and presented rationale for unexpected results.

 

“Coordinated” is vague and as a result is not particularly strong. The student chose a stronger, more clearly active verb for her first revision – “managed”.

 

? Managed operations for multiple research projects including planning methods and meeting milestones. Projects produced three professional journal articles.

 

This student also surveyed everything she did and decided to separate out the last part of the bullet – “presented rationale for unexpected results” – and to put it within its own bullet. This last part represents analytical skills that the student wanted to highlight.

 

? Managed operations for multiple projects including planning methods and meeting milestones.

Projects produced three professional journal articles.

 

? Identified themes in unexpected research findings allowing for a new interpretation that led to two additional research projects.

 

 

 

Example 9

This student had a history of finance experience but wanted to move into brand management.

 

? Prepared marketing materials and client presentations for Managing Directors and Vice Presidents and participated in new business pitches.

 

“Prepared” is not particularly strong. In this case, the student simply selected a stronger lead verb – “created”.

 

? Created marketing materials and client presentations for Managing Directors and Vice Presidents and participated in new business pitches.

 

She then stepped back and surveyed everything she did for this kind of project. She decided that creativity was demonstrated in other bullets. She decided to use this bullet to highlight an important message for brand managers - that she could understand consumers. She rewrote the bullet to emphasize this new message. Again, note that she uses a strong and active lead verb.

 

? Assessed the needs of clients and tailored marketing materials and presentations for new business pitches; participated in pitches with Managing Director and Vice Presidents.

 

 

 

Example 10

This student worked in product marketing for a technology firm who wants to continue on in marketing.

 

? Developed sales collateral and user guide, website content, and coordinating awareness and PR events in support of VoIP product launch.

 

She had a good amount of experience developing marketing materials and doing various kinds of promotional work. This was summarized throughout her resume. What was missing was involvement in strategic processes and decisions. She decided this bullet was a place where she could communicate participation in such a process – a new product launch. She did this initially by simply switching the order of the bullet. Her new bullet read:

 

? Supported VoIP product launch, developed sales collateral and user guide, website content, and coordinating awareness and PR events.

 

“Supported”, however, was neither strong, active, nor specific. She thought about her role for the product launch. She was one of a team of five. She decided to select a team/people verb to convey that it was a joint effort.

 

? Collaborated with new product launch team on VoIP innovation including developing sales collateral, website content, and promotional events.

 

 

 

Example 11

This student had experience as an analyst in a bank. He wanted to become a bond trader.

 

? Assisted traders in management of fixed-income portfolios by tracking trades, reporting market activity, interacting with market makers, and identifying trades.

 

The student has chosen to highlight the fact that he was involved in the process of fixed-income trading instead of the specific actions he took in the process. Given his career goals, it seems to make sense. Are there other ways to write this that still emphasize his involvement but that also bring out an important role he played?

 

? Identified fixed-income trades for traders by tracking market activity and interacting with market makers.

 

 

 

以上内容摘自:

Chicago Booth Career Services

 

 

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宁老师Coach Ning部分MBA或者Master咨询成功案例介绍

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