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宁老师留学DIY咨询

MBA及Master申请PS/Essay/简历/推荐信写作咨询人

 
 
 

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关于我

2009年7月份,我给一个老朋友(Simon FT-MBA,2010春季班)为申请MBA而写的Essay提了几点比较关键的修改建议。后来,她成功拿到Simon的Offer。再后来,她建议我做留学DIY咨询方面的工作,并向我介绍了我的第一个客户。最终,我的第一个客户也成功拿到几个TOP16商学院的面试并顺利拿到Duke Fuqua商学院MBA的录取。 本人毕业于上海复旦大学管理学院国际企业管理系,属于商科科班出身并且做过管理工作、有领导经验的人士。

网易考拉推荐
 
 

ESSAY样板(CD-BYS):Chicago Booth Sample Essays (2in1)  

2016-11-10 03:20:29|  分类: PS/Essay/简历/推 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

  下载LOFTER 我的照片书  |

ESSAY样板(CD-BYS)Chicago Booth Sample Essays (2in1)

 

 

宁老师按:

本文是从《做更好的自己》一书中摘录的写作样板,内容未及细看,也没有提供具体的评论。

任何公开的Essay Samples都仅供参考,因为:

首先,Essay Samples不能用来抄袭,这不仅仅是道德问题,这也是No Zuo No Die的问题。好学校越来越多地会采取反作弊和反抄袭的措施!

其次, 这些Essay Samples仅适用于具体的某个人在该申请人申请的那个时期所申请的具体某所学校。

第三,申请人未必拿到目标学校的录取,或者该些Essay Samples换到其他学校,就未必能拿到录取。

第四,这些Sample可能只不过是OK,不一定好到哪里去。

第五,如果某个读者只能看出来Essay Samples好像很好,但说不清楚好在哪里,好得如何,那最好找像宁老师这样的人士付费咨询。知其然而不知其所以然,不是一个申请人够资本去自己独立DIY的条件。

 

 

 

Essay Question 1

Why are you pursuing an MBA at this point in your career? (750 word maximum).

 

“Seek to be the best”, this is why I am going to pursuing an MBA at this point.

 

I can never imagine my five years career in XXXX (Procter & Gamble) started in such a hard day: Instead of staying at office operating computer from 9:00 to 5:00 as an engineer, I had to get up on 6:30 morning, riding on a bicycle and carrying four cases of products to visit 56 groceries. I had 7 minutes to talk to each of my clients and persuade them to buy more products. At that time, I even could not understand Sichuan dialect, say nothing about speaking. I believed, however, if I worked harder, my life will be changed.

 

Six months later, I leaped to be the youngest city manager in XXXX China history, overseeing $6 XX of business and leading my team to increase the business to $13 XX. Besides company target, in July 2004, I initiated addition assignment of exploiting XXXX business in the southern region Sichuan province (an area that XXXX business had never reached previously). Although I was prepared for an uphill battle, the magnitude of the task still surprised me: People in this place never heard of XXXX before, and local brand had a very strong consumer base. Refusing to be dissuaded, I worked 18-hour days to recruit distributors, establish sales team, build systems, and form analyses. In the meantime I transformed from a sales manager into a general manager in the process of hands-on participation by establishing the sales, finance, and logistics departments. My contributions were recognized as top ranking employee in company (10% of 1000).

 

My work built momentum in 2005, I designed XXXX national distributor sales model and was assigned to handle XXXX China‘s biggest city business. Besides increasing XXXX business from $35 XX to $50 XX in one year, I led my team to design and pilot a distributor model covers “Hire Distributor”, “HR Management”, “Sales Management”, “Supply Chain Optimization” and “Finance Control”. Today, it is the Operation Model for all of XXXX’s total 67 distributors in China. This experience really has enabled me to strategically oversee a company’s operations and enhance my capability of strategic planning. My team’s brilliant results were awarded “Best Team” (10 out of 300) in 2005, and I also received one of three promotions to Retail Unit Manager, a position responsible for $60 XX business.

 

The fastest unit manager promotion made me face even greater challenge due to the change from traditional distributor channel to modern retailer channel where I had not much experience. However, within limited time, I quickly familiarized myself with brand management, shopper research, and marketing program design. In this period, I successful managed the toughest financial risk case in XXXX China history, with zero finance risk and achieved rapid sales growth from $60 XX to $90 XX in one year. In addition, drawing on comprehensive consumer analysis, I led a project team to successfully launch China’s first shopper based layout design, “Personal Care Center”, which was awarded “Asia ECR Annual Reward” from Asia ECR Association in 2007, the first time in XXXX History.

 

Instead of becoming a marketing or business development director with easy life followed by current career path, be a CPG CEO is what I do desire. The more I advance in my career, the more clear I could see my future in next 10 years. I could be a director in F.M.C.G company with a easy life, which is exactly what I do not want. Today, I want to pursue a chance to change my life, in my 28 years old.

 

I am aiming to be the CEO of a large Chinese F.M.C.G company. I hope to lead the company be a market leader and focus on how to improve Chinese people‘s daily life. Using advanced marketing and strategic management, I will make the names of China‘s F.M.C.G company known around the world. Meanwhile, I hope the company I led will be the best cooperation citizen in society and will lead Chinese companies contribute to not only China but the rest of the world as well.

 

To become a CEO rather than a manager, one should possess five abilities, including general management, financial knowledge, strategic planning, entrepreneurship, and crisis handling. To prepare myself to become a CEO in the future, my work experiences have enhanced my ability in strategic planning, and developed my insights in sales management. I believe I still need to develop essential knowledge in general management, finance, and, crisis handling. The MBA architecture, together with practical know-how through post-MBA professional experiences and powerful international network, will pave the way for me.

 

 

 

Essay Question 2

Have you ever made a decision that caused you to go against popular opinion? Please describe that situation and your rationale for you decision. b) Did you feel at any point that people misperceived your motives? Explain. c) In retrospect, how do you think an MBA from Chicago GSB would have affected your decision?

 

XXX China adapted only two sales channels to sell their famous brands, Distributor Channel and Retail Channel. Distributor channel focused on wholesale business and the other focused on big direct retailer business. This sales model was never changed until 2005, based on my proposal.

 

It was July 2004 and the situation was very crucial. I was responsible for reaching our $ 1 million RMB sales target for Pampers in China‘s most affluence prefectural city in 2005. After 2 month 4 hour sleep and 40 pounds‘ losing, we met only thirty percent of our goal but sixty percent of our time had elapsed. After in depth field work, I realized that we had never covered a booming new store type, Baby Store. Such store contributed to 51% of city diapers business but our sales model could not cover them.

I immediately took initiative. I proposed to set up a sales team to cover such merging channel in that city. Moreover, if sales trend grew robust, I would propose to pilot that sales model in the top 20 cities in China, then rolled out nationally. I hoped eagerly my proposal could be adapted

 

But my motive was misperceived by marketing and finance management team. They thought I was finding an excuse for sales draggling. In the meanwhile, they questioned me about the fact that, in most part of China, baby store shoppers were poorer and could only afford local brands that were usually come in smaller packs. In contrast, Pampers didn‘t have small pack portfolio in China. Hence, despite of the 1 million investments in four months, Pampers business increased index would not be paid out. Refusing the proposal, they suggested me to shorten heavy promotion in retail channel to drive sales as fast as possible.

 

Convinced that a better change could be made, I adopted a different approach. After further analysis of agency‘s city and consumer behavior report, I made a business model to demonstrate business incremental if we would extend Pampers portfolio in Baby store. At the same time, I acknowledged the sales team‘s boldness for a change and reinvested a portion of our revenues to launch a massive research operation including pilots and trials to supplement our incomplete data. As the data showed, roughly 60% of mothers did their shopping in baby stores and the number of baby stores increased by 30% annually. In additional, I took the upper level managers to a field work. Compared with Hypermarket, the number of shoppers was more than double of the regular stores, but there simply was no Pampers available on the shelf. Based on end shopper data analysis and firsthand impression, finally, my proposal was adapted.

 

Six months later, after a successful pilot, XXX China founded its third sales channel, Baby Store channel. Today, the channel contributes 8 million RMB of Pampers sales, which account for 70% of XXX diaper business.

 

This experience made me understand a senior business manager should have data based on broader business view in other‘s shoes. In other words, the earlier I communicate with marketing and finance colleague of the end shopper behavior and data analysis, the easier I could help them understand my point of view, the faster XXX China could develop a productive sales channel.

 

I knew Chicago from my best friend Michael (Chicago 2010 MBA) when I first joined in XXX with him. I got the impression that Chicago GSB is an honored business school with strong academic strength. The more I understand Chicago GSB, the more I believe that it is the best one that can help me to become a general manager.

 

First, Chicago GSB will provide a rigorous intellectual experience in which I can gain a multi-dimensional and solid view in business concepts and develop the analytical skills to apply them. In Chicago GSB, I probably will be lucky enough to chat with one of the Nobel Prize Winners in a campus corner. Besides the most respected professors in the world, Chicago‘s discipline-based approach educational philosophy will teach me to question assumptions, facts demanding, and examine problems from all angles. Moreover, to study the statistics, conceptual tools of economics, and other business fundamental disciplines, I can constitute my approach to solve unknown business problems and face the toughest challenges in the future.

 

Second, I value Chicago GSB‘s focus on statistics and mathematic modeling when addressing complex business issues, while providing great soft skill programs. Not only in this case, I discovered that almost every function, including sales, marketing, and even HR, are mathematical games of optimizing resources and balancing investments. I believe my business management skills will be further strengthened with the development of my statistical analysis skills, for which Chicago GSB was the best of the world to offer.

 

Third, Michael shared with me the foundation courses like “Statistics”, breadth courses like “Marketing Management”, general management courses like “Competitive Strategy”, and electives like “New Venture Strategy” will help me develop essential business knowledge and build my expertise in such areas. In additional, Chicago GSB will complement classroom theories and foster my leadership and team work skills via the existence of profound experiential opportunities, like Management Lab and A.T. Kearney Global Prize. In sum, although I have not be General Manger before, the flexible curriculum can help me tailor-make my education to prepare for the career in general management.

 

From a video about Chicago GSB, I found out that it values independent and creative thinking, open discussion among students and faculty, and experiencing with knowledge. These are exactly the kind of things that I want to find in a business school. For Chicago GSB, I can not wait to start.

 

 

 

以上内容摘自:

《做更好的自己》

 

 

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宁老师(Coach NingDIY留学咨询服务说明与收费标准(2016-2017

http://ningchunlong.blog.163.com/blog/static/1153712692016461220967

http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzA4MDU3MzYxOA==&mid=504022883&idx=1&sn=bb813d21e4565b2911bb7e6cdbc9a07d#rd

(注:上述两个服务说明的链接,若一个无法打开请点击另一个)

宁老师Coach Ning部分MBA或者Master咨询成功案例介绍

http://ningchunlong.blog.163.com/blog/#m=0&t=1&c=fks_087069080082082074081082086095085087084064083087084069093

 

 

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MBAMaster申请差别很大请正确选择要加入的群

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